Women's English:
"Yes" = No
" No" = Yes
" Maybe" = No
" I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
" We need" = I want
" It's your decision " = The correct decision should be obvious by now
" Sure, go ahead " = I don't want to
" I'm not upset " = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
" We need to talk " = I need to complain
" You're certainly attentive tonight " = Is sex all you ever think about?
" Be romantic, turn out the lights " = I have flabby thighs
" The kitchen is so convenient " = I want a new house
" I want new curtains " = ...and new carpeting, furniture and wallpaper.
" I heard a noise " = I noticed you were almost asleep.
" Do you love me? " = I am going to ask for something expensive
" How much do you love me? " = I did something today you're not really going to like.
" I'll be ready in a minute " = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on tv.
" Is my butt fat? " = Lie to me.
" You have to learn to communicate " = Just agree with me.
" Are you listening to me? " = { Too late, you're dead }
" Do what you want " = You'll pay for this later.
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