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Saturday, 01 March 2008


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Wednesday, 06 February 2008

  • So theres this virgin and he is listeneing to this nurse try to explain how to wear a condom. She had put it around her thumb and was telling him to make sure it stayed nice and snug but he was still looking at her with an odd expression as if he still didnt quite understand. So the nurse looked around to see if anyone was there. The room was empty so she went over to the door and locked it (uh oh gettin hot lol). Came back to the young man and started to undo her shirt and bra looked at the young man and said does this exite u. He was so dumbstruck all he could do was stare and nod his head. Then she told him to undo his pants as she started to drop her skirt and panties. She laid down on a desk and beconed him over so he listened and oh was he happey he had done that it was like nothing he had ever tried before in fact it was so good that before he knew it it was all over and as he lay there looking down at the nurse he saw she was looking up at him very quizically, after a second she asked "you did put that condom on right" he looked back and exclaimed "I sure did" as he held up his thumb. lol now tell me that shits not hallarious.

Monday, 28 January 2008

  • Kids Instructions on Life
    Maybe they're smarter than we thought?



    1. "Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching."
    - Andrew, age 9

    2. "Wear a hat when feeding seagulls."
    - Rocky, age 9

    3. "Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed for morning."
    - Stephanie, age 8

    4. "Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower"
    - Lamar, age 10

    5. "Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes."
    -Carrol, age 9

    6. "Never bug a pregnant mom."
    - Nicholas, age 11

    7.  "Don't ever be too full for dessert."
    - Kelly, age 10

    8.  "When you dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him."
    - Michael, age 14

    9.  "Never tell your mom her diet's not working."
    -Michael, age 14

    10.  "Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."
    - Joel, age 12

    11.  "When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
    - Aleysha, age 13

    12.  "Never try to baptize a cat."
    - Laura, age 13

    13.  "Never spit when on a roller coaster."
    - Scott, age 11

    14.  "Never do pranks at a police station."
    - Sam, age 11

    15.  "Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do."
    - Hank, age 12

    16.  "Remember you're never to old to hold your father's hand."
    - Molly, age 11

    17.  "Listen to your brain.  It has lots of information."
    - Chelsey, age 7

    18.  "Never dare your brother to paint the car."
    - Phillip, age 13

    19.)  "Forget the cake, go for the icing."
    - Cynthia, age 8

    20)  "When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents."
    - Matthew, age 12 

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

  • Women's English:
     
     
    "Yes" = No
    " No" = Yes
    " Maybe" = No
    " I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
    " We need" = I want
    " It's your decision " = The correct decision should be obvious by now
    " Sure, go ahead " = I don't want to
    " I'm not upset " = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
    " We need to talk " = I need to complain
    " You're certainly attentive tonight " = Is sex all you ever think about?
    " Be romantic, turn out the lights " = I have flabby thighs
    " The kitchen is so convenient " = I want a new house
    " I want new curtains " = ...and new carpeting, furniture and wallpaper.
    " I heard a noise " = I noticed you were almost asleep.
    " Do you love me? " = I am going to ask for something expensive
    " How much do you love me? " = I did something today you're not really going to like.
    " I'll be ready in a minute " = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on tv.
    " Is my butt fat? " = Lie to me.
    " You have to learn to communicate " = Just agree with me.
    " Are you listening to me? " = { Too late, you're dead }
    " Do what you want " = You'll pay for this later.

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